Today’s date is 12-02-2021
Hooray!
So tidy 💝

I appreciate this.

Velvet cushions surround me
In shades of blue and gold
Why would I wish to 
Leave this nest?

I am held here.

The tea is hot and near.

My body is comfortable.

I can feel the softness

and after a while

I remember:

It is safe for me to breathe deeply
with my eyes open.

breathing in I calm my body 
breathing out I smile
dwelling in the present moment 
I know that I am safe


This nest that is my refuge
where rest wraps herself
around me
most tenderly 

Drip drop

Plink plop

Away fall the strains
as I willingly unbind myself
from the chains of mental anguish
shhhhhhhh

I am safe now.

What incredible hard work it has taken

How vague and mysterious this statement 

The “incredible hard work” was done 
Diligently
Courageously
Persistently

For fuck’s sake Fuckers, it was ME!!!

I am the one who has worked
and worked
and worked

Worked to repair the smashing 
of an exquisitely perfect spirit

And still
There is an outraged little girl inside me
SCREAMING in resistance 
That it is absolute bullshit
That I
Or anybody else
Should’ve EVER have to use 
their precious life energy 
to tidy up the abhorrent, intolerable,
devastating MESS 
left behind 
by selfish oppressors 
over 
and over
and over
again
again
again.

The grace
to acknowledge the gift 
of being invited
to learn my strength
is not available to me today.

I wanted that strength 
to live a full and beautiful life
you cunts,
a life that showcased and celebrated 
the world-changing brilliance 
that I was born with

That strength was my birthright 

And look now.

Look.

Look how I have to draw on it instead 
to rewire my brain 
into being able to believe 
that it is safe for me
to get out of bed.

I rise.




I rise and surge.



I rise and surge and triumph.







Might get dressed soon... 

(Copyright 12-02-2021)