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12022021

Today’s date is 12-02-2021
Hooray!
So tidy 💝

I appreciate this.

Velvet cushions surround me
In shades of blue and gold
Why would I wish to
Leave this nest?

I am held here.

The tea is hot and near.

My body is comfortable.

I can feel the softness

and after a while

I remember:

It is safe for me to breathe deeply
with my eyes open.

breathing in I calm my body
breathing out I smile
dwelling in the present moment
I know that I am safe


This nest that is my refuge
where rest wraps herself
around me
most tenderly

Drip drop

Plink plop

Away fall the strains
as I willingly unbind myself
from the chains of mental anguish
shhhhhhhh

I am safe now.

What incredible hard work it has taken

How vague and mysterious this statement

The “incredible hard work” was done
Diligently
Courageously
Persistently

For fuck’s sake Fuckers, it was ME!!!

I am the one who has worked
and worked
and worked

Worked to repair the smashing
of an exquisitely perfect spirit

And still
There is an outraged little girl inside me
SCREAMING in resistance
That it is absolute bullshit
That I
Or anybody else
Should’ve EVER have to use
their precious life energy
to tidy up the abhorrent, intolerable,
devastating MESS
left behind
by selfish oppressors
over
and over
and over
again
again
again.




The grace
to acknowledge the gift
of being invited
to learn my strength
is not available to me today.
I wanted that strength 
to live a full and beautiful life
you cunts,
a life that showcased and celebrated
the world-changing brilliance
that I was born with
That strength was my birthright 
And look now.

Look.

Look how I have to draw on it instead
to rewire my brain
into being able to believe
that it is safe for me
to get out of bed.
I rise.




I rise and surge.



I rise and surge and triumph.







Might get dressed soon...












(Copyright 12-02-2021)

That leaf

Look at the way that leaf moves

Jiggering : jittering : jiggling : quivering

One of so many Yet it caught my eye

Where is the face in the tree I used to fancy I could see

Oh Nature

You move and change so radically and yet so subtly

How do we fall so easily into the arrogance of certainty?

The certainty is that we are part of you.

To stay attuned to this is satisfaction

Contentment

Connection with ourselves in this moment

We are in you and you in us.

It’s going to be ok.

It already is ok.

Feeding this moment of noticing how ok it already is.

Feeling this ok moment.

Soothing my nervous system As the rhythm of my breath Synchs with the pace of nature

I find that now, here in this new moment, things are still ok

Maybe even a little bit more ok

Thank you Mother Earth For holding me so safely

I know I am at home in your embrace

I will care for you sincerely All the days of this life.

I love you.

Little legs

“Mummy I get pants for meeeeee”.

Long little legs go running down the hall, with the pitter patter of new red leather shoes beating out the allegretto of a single-focused mission.

I gaze in wonder at the space before my eyes where she passed by with her announcement. Those little legs. Strong and certain, holding her to the earth; lifting her to the sky, where she was once a star.

A star, waiting for just the right time to take up the long-extended invitation to come and be loved by us.

And here she is, full of life, full of words. Full of erroneous requests at 4:00 am.

And as she is full, so does she fill me.

With a love so heart-expanding that I too, grow taller. With a joy so face-opening that my smile lines stretch further. With a giddying glow so all-encompassing that I’m sitting here in the kitchen, awe-struck.

That those little legs are the result of an orgasm.

Mind. Blown.