We fell

The states were closed to one another
As our hearts lit up

A tiny window opened for us
To sip from true love’s cup

We yearn and strive to feel close
With new laws holding us apart

We both stay home so far away
When home is in each other’s heart

I long for you my darling one,
To feel your arms around me

To hear you whisper to my hair
Of all the things that should be

Hold on my love, and I will too
To the truth of our sweet story

This pain we know is compost
For a garden full of glory

(C) Zoë Xanadu 2021

Delivery

Hanging preschooler sized pants on the line
On a sunshiney lockdown day

Brrrrmmmmm
The postie bike stops at my gate

Through he comes with two big packages
“I’ll just put these here”

They sit by the door
As I continue my dance with the endless laundry cycle

I pick them up on my way inside
One, a bundle of online fast fashion for the teen

The other addressed to me
Flat, registered, with stiff cardboard inside

My graduation certificate and testamur
Just like that

Ten years of isolated online toil
Solo parenting, working so many jobs

My Masters degree has been conferred in hi-vis
From the other side of the laundry basket

Not a mortarboard in sight
But what beautiful weather for Graduation Day!


Comirnaty

Hello spike protein
Welcome to my systems
I see the genetic code in you,
And invite you to show my body
How to make copies

Good morning dear body
This is an invited guest
Please make them welcome
Drop down into accommodation mode
If you will, and help them do their work

A biscuit dear guest? A cup of tea?
Let me show you to our lovely bath
Soak in here awhile with your kind host
And get to know each other
Find your harmony like new lovers

Befriending the reality of our times
Supporting our communal wellness
With a perfect fusion of love and science
Dear body, you and the virus share Mother Earth now
May you do so safely and gently
It’s ok
Keep
Breathing

I love you

Cloak

I was looking for my cloak 
But it wasn’t outside of me
I am the cloak

Housing my nervous system
Containing my blood
Protecting my heart


I was wary of the wolf
But it wasn’t outside of me either
I’m the only wolf now

Stalking my own vulnerability
Ready to trick me
Eyes glinting from the shadows


I wanted to show love to my Grandmother
But she wasn’t outside of me either
I am my grandmother

She is in me
And the reverence I show myself
Honours all of the grandmothers
Whose stories I breathe


So I filled my basket with goodness
And I carry that treasure within me
Self-nourishing
So that I may stride
Upright and belonging
Into the forest


And in the clearing
I seek my healing
And my healing happens
Through relationship
Through connection
Through safety

I am here in the clearing
And I see that you are here too


Copyright 2021

https://youtu.be/29Tl6EZjtis written to honour the release of this single by majestic creatrix Jex Lopez ♥️

Breastfeeding

I remember 

It was years ago now

Sitting in a privacy cubicle in the parents’ room in the middle of a shopping centre


Conditioned air
Piped muzak
Grubby curtains
Playschool on the tele on the other side of them

Seeking some rest before attempting
The epic effort of loading the car with baby and self
Back to the place of endless labour
and insufficient sleep

Feeling a little self pity
At my lot
As a single mother
not by choice

And a voice
From the next cubicle
Where two local mums had been talking
Cuts through my ruminations

“Babydaddy’s a useless C##T anyway
All he ever does is
Smoke ice
And
F**k putrid hoes.”

Yes, I remember that.

Teacher

I make the space for the brains to thrive

Creating safety

Encouraging fun

Being a peripheral part
of the excited buzz
Of the hive of minds
as they pollinate each other

Witnessing their outrage,
their passion,
their determined agency
in the wryly augmented world
that they know to be theirs

Celebrating the brilliance
in every one of them
In all the manifestations it makes
As it shines through
via their unique and essential imprints

It’s like resting in a forest
As I survey in wonder
the miracles surrounding me
All these perfect human trees
Growing amongst one another

I am in awe

I am humbled

May they thrive
I whisper in my heart
As I meet their eyes and say their names




Ancient
gnarly
filled with seasons

my stories and experiences
infuse me
travel with me
make me who I am...

All things I see, touch, do and feel
come through me and are transmuted

gnarly old me
and all the things I've witnessed

I know that I'm
old as rain
and
fresh as morning dew
just part of something
going along

letting go with easeful acceptance
inhaling what changes the seasons bring

connected,
yet self-contained

aware of the value of the precious glimmers
brought about by togetherness

ok in my solitude
seeing the same stardust in you
as I know is in me

see

breathe

sleep

my business is to simply be

allowing my experiences to wash over me like the light of dawn
gently, transiently

holding on with intentional love
to the aspects that nourish me


releasing with gratitude
the aspects that teach me

celebrating my ancestry,
descendant that I am
of the women they didn't burn

solid,
yet flexible
and permeable

open to the return to myself
of the love that I have released to the universe


Copyright 2021

“Old as rain and fresh as morning dew” is from fierce Australian feminist poet, playwright, and novelist Dorothy Hewett and is part of one of the poems in her play The Chapel Perilous

I honour her.