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We fell 

The states were closed to one another
As our hearts lit up 

A tiny window opened for us 
To sip from true love’s cup

We yearn and strive to feel close
With new laws holding us apart

We both stay home so far away 
When home is in each other’s heart

I long for you my darling one,
To feel your arms around me

To hear you whisper to my hair
Of all the things that should be

Hold on my love, and I will too
To the truth of our sweet story 

This pain we know is compost
For a garden full of glory

(C) Zoë Xanadu 2021

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Delivery 

Hanging preschooler sized pants on the line
On a sunshiney lockdown day

Brrrrmmmmm
The postie bike stops at my gate

Through he comes with two big packages
“I’ll just put these here”

They sit by the door 
As I continue my dance with the endless laundry cycle 

I pick them up on my way inside 
One, a bundle of online fast fashion for the teen

The other addressed to me
Flat, registered, with stiff cardboard inside

My graduation certificate and testamur
Just like that

Ten years of isolated online toil
Solo parenting, working so many jobs

My Masters degree has been conferred in hi-vis 
From the other side of the laundry basket

Not a mortarboard in sight
But what beautiful weather for Graduation Day!


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Comirnaty 

Hello spike protein
Welcome to my systems
I see the genetic code in you,
And invite you to show my body 
How to make copies 

Good morning dear body
This is an invited guest
Please make them welcome 
Drop down into accommodation mode
If you will, and help them do their work

A biscuit dear guest? A cup of tea?
Let me show you to our lovely bath
Soak in here awhile with your kind host
And get to know each other
Find your harmony like new lovers

Befriending the reality of our times
Supporting our communal wellness
With a perfect fusion of love and science 
Dear body, you and the virus share Mother Earth now
May you do so safely and gently
It’s ok
Keep
Breathing

I love you
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Cloak 

I was looking for my cloak 
But it wasn’t outside of me
I am the cloak

Housing my nervous system
Containing my blood
Protecting my heart 


I was wary of the wolf
But it wasn’t outside of me either 
I’m the only wolf now 

Stalking my own vulnerability 
Ready to trick me
Eyes glinting from the shadows


I wanted to show love to my Grandmother
But she wasn’t outside of me either 
I am my grandmother

She is in me
And the reverence I show myself 
Honours all of the grandmothers 
Whose stories I breathe


So I filled my basket with goodness 
And I carry that treasure within me
Self-nourishing
So that I may stride
Upright and belonging
Into the forest


And in the clearing
I seek my healing 
And my healing happens 
Through relationship
Through connection
Through safety

I am here in the clearing
And I see that you are here too


Copyright 2021

https://youtu.be/29Tl6EZjtis written to honour the release of this single by majestic creatrix Jex Lopez ♥️

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Falling 

Keep up your routines 
They say
When at risk of falling hard and fast 

Ok

She tries

But this pesky pandemic
Has got her all locked down 

And the enforced extended distance builds a tension even greater 

Morning texts that go til lunchtime

Nap time fantasies abound

Phone calls filled with longing
So much longing 
They could only wish 
for a shortcut to the next tryst

Lips whisper through the ether
Of desires yet unmet 

Something showstoppingly stunning 
grows as Spring approaches

But what it is feels jostled
By this other 
Discomfort 


This insistent presence 
of an isolating threat 

delaying 
delaying
delaying 

How delicious can torture really be?
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Breastfeeding 

I remember 

It was years ago now 

Sitting in a privacy cubicle in the parents’ room in the middle of a shopping centre


Conditioned air
Piped muzak
Grubby curtains
Playschool on the tele on the other side of them

Seeking some rest before attempting
The epic effort of loading the car with baby and self 
Back to the place of endless labour 
and insufficient sleep

Feeling a little self pity
At my lot
As a single mother
not by choice 

And a voice 
From the next cubicle 
Where two local mums had been talking
Cuts through my ruminations

“Babydaddy’s a useless C##T anyway
All he ever does is
Smoke ice 
And
F**k putrid hoes.”

Yes, I remember that.