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Delivery

Hanging preschooler sized pants on the line
On a sunshiney lockdown day

Brrrrmmmmm
The postie bike stops at my gate

Through he comes with two big packages
“I’ll just put these here”

They sit by the door
As I continue my dance with the endless laundry cycle

I pick them up on my way inside
One, a bundle of online fast fashion for the teen

The other addressed to me
Flat, registered, with stiff cardboard inside

My graduation certificate and testamur
Just like that

Ten years of isolated online toil
Solo parenting, working so many jobs

My Masters degree has been conferred in hi-vis
From the other side of the laundry basket

Not a mortarboard in sight
But what beautiful weather for Graduation Day!


Comirnaty

Hello spike protein
Welcome to my systems
I see the genetic code in you,
And invite you to show my body
How to make copies

Good morning dear body
This is an invited guest
Please make them welcome
Drop down into accommodation mode
If you will, and help them do their work

A biscuit dear guest? A cup of tea?
Let me show you to our lovely bath
Soak in here awhile with your kind host
And get to know each other
Find your harmony like new lovers

Befriending the reality of our times
Supporting our communal wellness
With a perfect fusion of love and science
Dear body, you and the virus share Mother Earth now
May you do so safely and gently
It’s ok
Keep
Breathing

I love you

Cloak

I was looking for my cloak 
But it wasn’t outside of me
I am the cloak

Housing my nervous system
Containing my blood
Protecting my heart


I was wary of the wolf
But it wasn’t outside of me either
I’m the only wolf now

Stalking my own vulnerability
Ready to trick me
Eyes glinting from the shadows


I wanted to show love to my Grandmother
But she wasn’t outside of me either
I am my grandmother

She is in me
And the reverence I show myself
Honours all of the grandmothers
Whose stories I breathe


So I filled my basket with goodness
And I carry that treasure within me
Self-nourishing
So that I may stride
Upright and belonging
Into the forest


And in the clearing
I seek my healing
And my healing happens
Through relationship
Through connection
Through safety

I am here in the clearing
And I see that you are here too


Copyright 2021

https://youtu.be/29Tl6EZjtis written to honour the release of this single by majestic creatrix Jex Lopez ♥️

Falling

Keep up your routines 
They say
When at risk of falling hard and fast

Ok

She tries

But this pesky pandemic
Has got her all locked down

And the enforced extended distance builds a tension even greater

Morning texts that go til lunchtime

Nap time fantasies abound

Phone calls filled with longing
So much longing
They could only wish
for a shortcut to the next tryst

Lips whisper through the ether
Of desires yet unmet

Something showstoppingly stunning
grows as Spring approaches

But what it is feels jostled
By this other
Discomfort


This insistent presence
of an isolating threat

delaying
delaying
delaying

How delicious can torture really be?

And now

Presenting:

This moment

Welcome to your appointment with life

Thank yourself for making time
in your busy schedule
to be available to notice
your breath
coming into your body
and leaving your body

Your belly rising
Your belly falling

Your mind slowing
Your tension releasing

Your heart opening
Your shoulders falling

Your smile relaxing
Your eyes softening

Your hair growing
Your forehead clearing

Your organs rejoicing
Your freedom expanding


Breath coming in

Breath flowing out

Yes
How lovely


Looking deeply into things

Opening your perception up to the beauty and miraculous perfection all around you

Remembering your innate intelligence

Savouring the elegance of life
And your self as part of the miracle

Here you are

Right here
Right now

Breathing
Breathing

Calm
Smiling

Present
Wonderful

Worthy
Welcome

You are as perfect as that leaf
That shell
That star
That sunrise
That breeze
You are all of these things
With gratitude and love
You belong

Breastfeeding

I remember 

It was years ago now

Sitting in a privacy cubicle in the parents’ room in the middle of a shopping centre


Conditioned air
Piped muzak
Grubby curtains
Playschool on the tele on the other side of them

Seeking some rest before attempting
The epic effort of loading the car with baby and self
Back to the place of endless labour
and insufficient sleep

Feeling a little self pity
At my lot
As a single mother
not by choice

And a voice
From the next cubicle
Where two local mums had been talking
Cuts through my ruminations

“Babydaddy’s a useless C##T anyway
All he ever does is
Smoke ice
And
F**k putrid hoes.”

Yes, I remember that.

Mirror

The mirror reflects my state of mind.

Not the truth.
Not any singular truth.

The clarity of my heart shining through my forehead
The scowl of my worries curving my shoulders
My love of self embracing the most excellent styling of my perfectly filthy hair
Or my mild blue afflicting my perception that the very same hair sees me unfit for human contact...

Naked.
Some days I scrutinise that reflected body as if it owes me something, 
answerable to all the erroneous demands of our superficial culture - what is that curve?  That hair? Why has gravity been allowed here? 
Other times I find the beauty of it breathtaking, wishing I was someone else so that I could hold it in my gaze and reach out with tender touch to feel its perfection tremble with pleasure.

When the mirror tells me harsh truths, 
if it is a lucky day, I can remember that 
the mirror reflects my state of mind
and I make some time to soften my thoughts
until the mirror reflects love to me once more.












Copyright 2021