Roses
I told her my news
She sent roses to my door
So then I had more news
To tell my friends
Better than the daily covid update
Follow my career and love-life journal for more recipes
Actually don’t
I won’t publish it
I told her my news
She sent roses to my door
So then I had more news
To tell my friends
Better than the daily covid update
Follow my career and love-life journal for more recipes
Actually don’t
I won’t publish it
Keep up your routines
They say
When at risk of falling hard and fast
Ok
She tries
But this pesky pandemic
Has got her all locked down
And the enforced extended distance builds a tension even greater
Morning texts that go til lunchtime
Nap time fantasies abound
Phone calls filled with longing
So much longing
They could only wish
for a shortcut to the next tryst
Lips whisper through the ether
Of desires yet unmet
Something showstoppingly stunning
grows as Spring approaches
But what it is feels jostled
By this other
Discomfort
This insistent presence
of an isolating threat
delaying
delaying
delaying
How delicious can torture really be?
I’m in a bit of a swirl,
processing how all
of a sudden I find myself
in this good thing
with delicious you…
Presenting:
This moment
Welcome to your appointment with life
Thank yourself for making time
in your busy schedule
to be available to notice
your breath
coming into your body
and leaving your body
Your belly rising
Your belly falling
Your mind slowing
Your tension releasing
Your heart opening
Your shoulders falling
Your smile relaxing
Your eyes softening
Your hair growing
Your forehead clearing
Your organs rejoicing
Your freedom expanding
Breath coming in
Breath flowing out
Yes
How lovely
Looking deeply into things
Opening your perception up to the beauty and miraculous perfection all around you
Remembering your innate intelligence
Savouring the elegance of life
And your self as part of the miracle
Here you are
Right here
Right now
Breathing
Breathing
Calm
Smiling
Present
Wonderful
Worthy
Welcome
You are as perfect as that leaf
That shell
That star
That sunrise
That breeze
You are all of these things
With gratitude and love
You belong
I remember
It was years ago now
Sitting in a privacy cubicle in the parents’ room in the middle of a shopping centre
Conditioned air
Piped muzak
Grubby curtains
Playschool on the tele on the other side of them
Seeking some rest before attempting
The epic effort of loading the car with baby and self
Back to the place of endless labour
and insufficient sleep
Feeling a little self pity
At my lot
As a single mother
not by choice
And a voice
From the next cubicle
Where two local mums had been talking
Cuts through my ruminations
“Babydaddy’s a useless C##T anyway
All he ever does is
Smoke ice
And
F**k putrid hoes.”
Yes, I remember that.
I was a baby bear once
But nobody stole my porridge
And so I need neither therapy nor vengeance, indeed, I can share.
Do you ever look at your hand
Really look at it
And think
Whose hand is this?
The mirror reflects my state of mind. Not the truth. Not any singular truth. The clarity of my heart shining through my forehead The scowl of my worries curving my shoulders My love of self embracing the most excellent styling of my perfectly filthy hair Or my mild blue afflicting my perception that the very same hair sees me unfit for human contact... Naked. Some days I scrutinise that reflected body as if it owes me something, answerable to all the erroneous demands of our superficial culture - what is that curve? That hair? Why has gravity been allowed here? Other times I find the beauty of it breathtaking, wishing I was someone else so that I could hold it in my gaze and reach out with tender touch to feel its perfection tremble with pleasure. When the mirror tells me harsh truths, if it is a lucky day, I can remember that the mirror reflects my state of mind and I make some time to soften my thoughts until the mirror reflects love to me once more.
Copyright 2021
I make the space for the brains to thrive
Creating safety
Encouraging fun
Being a peripheral part
of the excited buzz
Of the hive of minds
as they pollinate each other
Witnessing their outrage,
their passion,
their determined agency
in the wryly augmented world
that they know to be theirs
Celebrating the brilliance
in every one of them
In all the manifestations it makes
As it shines through
via their unique and essential imprints
It’s like resting in a forest
As I survey in wonder
the miracles surrounding me
All these perfect human trees
Growing amongst one another
I am in awe
I am humbled
May they thrive
I whisper in my heart
As I meet their eyes and say their names
I have to leave the house for stupid errands
Call when ready and we’ll see what works
Bloody wind